Hi. This is my cover of Ben&Ben's song "Leaves". Its not much of a hollywood-style kind of video, its has cheap video effects too
but its a type of home video where I want my life be conveyed through simple symbolic gestures. If you're keen enough in deciphering music videos, then come and decipher mine:)
"Leaves" is such a lovely song. Its lyrics compliments so much from its melody. I love how the meaning of the song touches not only mine, but also other people's lives as well.
Allow me to explain some stuff in this little music video of mine.
(Welcome to my room btw. hahaha)
I wasn't wearing "that" much makeup. My hair was all tied up. A hairstyle I only do at home
where no one could see me. This depicts my true self. My naked self. A side of myself
where I don't have to hide anything or mask anything on me.
At the first part, my emotions were a bit doubtful. If we put it in the metaphorical sense,
I was finding something "important" or "value" in my life despite me thinking I'm a failure and such.
But despite that, I'm still trying to smile and be cool with it. Cause I had no choice.
When the chorus came in, you can see I was rumming through stuff in my room.
Doing the usual routine I do in my life. This is the point where everything is normal.
My life is routinary. My life is normal. Nothing extraordinary happens. Life just went on.
Me putting my headband was the first sign of that routinary stuff I talked about.
Its a part of my nighttime skincare routine. In the metaphorical sense, its like a job I just get used to do, but I'm not happy
or satisfied with it no matter how much effort I put in. As the video goes, I was rumming through useless stuff—a part of the routinary life.
I was singing the second chorus with a little bit of joy. I was trying to cope up with life as much as I can.
Even if I felt like dying, I had no choice but to live and smile and just be fake happy so that the people around me wouldn't get sad or worried.
But as the second chorus comes to an end, I put on a VHS effect to make it more sad and dramatic when my expression
changed into a more sadder one. This is where my depression kicked in.
When the bridge came up, I removed my headphones to get away with life for a while and just stared into the blankness of space.
As you observe closely, I put on shaky effects in there which depicts how confused my heart and my mind is and how I can't control it when it comes up suddenly.
There were two parts of me here and I used the mirror effect on it. This depicts the moment where I was talking to myself how I should do this.
As the lyrics goes "If I should leave (die) or stay? (live)". Those both personas was fighting for that decision.
As the bridge comes to a close, the chorus came as a slow piano part. I then again put the VHS effect to depitc depression.
Here, my emotions were depressed, sad, confused and my anxities were kicking in again.
As you have observed, my sudden sadness has its episodes. It just suddenly kicks in even when I'm not sad.
Even when there's no reason to "be" sad. I wrote a poem about this, you should check it out. I explained my sudden sadness there.
When the last chorus came the VHS effect was gone and it was back to normal. I was smiling again.
As you can see, I shrugged off my shoulders. This is the part where I dont care what happens anymore. If I have to fake my smile, then I'll fake my smile again.
And in the video, I was going back to being happy. Being cute, smiling, cuddling my stuff toy, trying to be positive, trying to be hopeful.\
But in the last part of the chorus, as it came to its final end, I finished the video by putting the VHS effect althroughout it.
This depicts again, my depression. That everything, everything goes back to my mental health. It goes back to how dark my depression is.
How struggling my sudden sadness is. It also has a past effect where it symbolizes that forgiving someone or yourself, means you try and forgive
your past and the past of other people.
And yet, "I don't really know how to love someone until I learn to forgive."
If you have your own interpretations, please feel free to explain below!
Would love to read each and everyone one of it :)
(Also I forgive if I had some off-tunes hahaha)