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Hi! So, this is another original composition of mine entitled: "What I Feel Inside."
I wrote this on a very dark moment of my life, September 21, 2020. I was heavily depressed. Killing myself passed by many times in my head but I never did once obeyed doing it. (safe)
The lyrics speaks for itself. Its metaphors and bluntness colors the song. I was more likely referring to my father here and most of the people who are close to me. But let's not dig deep into that. At that time, living in my house was suffocating. But it was a good thing that writing songs was there to pick up the pieces. As I have said from my previous blog: Who Am I?, I have stated there how music is therapeutic to me. And it is and will always will be.
As you all know, I make my songs raw. I recorded this on the spot with only ONE take. I didn't add so much voicings or other instruments cause I have thought that the song would be more true and sincere if sang alone and softly. The feelings sang were raw. I don't know if you guys would notice it by my voice was shaking—I was on the verge of crying.
I don't intend to magnify negative feelings here but my song is just a reflection and a description of how I "really" felt at that time.
Hope you guys enjoy it still though :)
Lyrics coming at you in super sonic speed!
Stanza 1:
I'm tired
Inside and out
I just wanna lay on the grass
I wanna cry
But the tears wont come out
Cause I don't have the right
I'm scared
But I don't wanna let
My loved ones know
I'm sad
But I hide it on my smile
Cause jokes are worthwhile
Cho:
I'm pressured
On everything's around me
Why cant people see that
I only got two hands
I only got two feet
Why cant people see that
Stanza 2:
I lie
Of what I really feel inside
The darkness i have to hide
I'm confused
Of what I really should be doing for you
My mind's going white
(Cho)
I'm trying so hard day by day
Trying to fight what I cant take
But why cant people see that
I feel like dying everyday
But I love you so I will stay
But why can't you see that
Bridge:
I just want to end it here
Silence all the noise in my ear
Cause I am just tired of hearing you speak
I know what's between the wrong and right
I know what to do to be free and fly
But my heart chose to say you goodnight
So let me stay in my room
No one will understand me anyway
So lock the door
Shut the window pane
And let me say goodnight
See you on the next life
thumbnail credit: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/2533343513109251/
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