What I Feel Inside


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    Published on Jan 11, 2021
    About :

    Hi! So, this is another original composition of mine entitled: "What I Feel Inside."

    I wrote this on a very dark moment of my life, September 21, 2020. I was heavily depressed. Killing myself passed by many times in my head but I never did once obeyed doing it. (safe)

    The lyrics speaks for itself. Its metaphors and bluntness colors the song. I was more likely referring to my father here and most of the people who are close to me. But let's not dig deep into that. At that time, living in my house was suffocating. But it was a good thing that writing songs was there to pick up the pieces. As I have said from my previous blog: Who Am I?, I have stated there how music is therapeutic to me. And it is and will always will be.

    As you all know, I make my songs raw. I recorded this on the spot with only ONE take. I didn't add so much voicings or other instruments cause I have thought that the song would be more true and sincere if sang alone and softly. The feelings sang were raw. I don't know if you guys would notice it by my voice was shaking—I was on the verge of crying.

    I don't intend to magnify negative feelings here but my song is just a reflection and a description of how I "really" felt at that time.

    Hope you guys enjoy it still though :)

    Lyrics coming at you in super sonic speed!

    Stanza 1:
    I'm tired
    Inside and out
    I just wanna lay on the grass
    I wanna cry
    But the tears wont come out
    Cause I don't have the right
    I'm scared
    But I don't wanna let
    My loved ones know
    I'm sad
    But I hide it on my smile
    Cause jokes are worthwhile

    I'm pressured
    On everything's around me
    Why cant people see that
    I only got two hands
    I only got two feet
    Why cant people see that

    Stanza 2:
    I lie
    Of what I really feel inside
    The darkness i have to hide
    I'm confused
    Of what I really should be doing for you
    My mind's going white

    I'm trying so hard day by day
    Trying to fight what I cant take
    But why cant people see that
    I feel like dying everyday
    But I love you so I will stay
    But why can't you see that

    I just want to end it here
    Silence all the noise in my ear
    Cause I am just tired of hearing you speak
    I know what's between the wrong and right
    I know what to do to be free and fly
    But my heart chose to say you goodnight

    So let me stay in my room
    No one will understand me anyway
    So lock the door
    Shut the window pane
    And let me say goodnight
    See you on the next life

    thumbnail credit: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/2533343513109251/

    Tags :

    music composition neoxian ocd palnet

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