A Tale of 3 Tails part 13: Murderous Mr Mittens

Last week, I posted about our awkward situation, with our third princess, who unexpectedly sprouted a pair of balls (to my and the vets surprise at his/ her second round of vaccinations), in A Tale of Three Tales - Part 12: Conical Cats and Gender Reassignment.

To be honest, not much has changed since the "gender reassignment." We all still struggle awkwardly with HIS pronouns, but he don't give a shit as he continues to run around the house causing havoc, stealing loaves of bread and attacking my pajama laces as I try to get my crippled-ass down the stairs for snaktime (no my ass in not cripples, my knee is... just for clarity).

If I am going to die, this is how it's going to happen:

To help those of you catch up, that are new to this series, Mittens took a swipe at our quietest kitty, Squeek (actually my mom's cat, but she's my baby now), a few weeks ago and she has been in quarantine ever since. Two visits and a ridiculous amount of money on vet fees later, she is doing well. The Abscess has stopped reforming and scabbing is complete to the point that we're just waiting for it to fall of. The last thing I want is a secondary infection. The hole in her face was massive, after two eruptions and mechanical debridement at the vet. I'm so thrilled at her progress, really. I mean, if you have to think about in in proportion to our own faces, half her face was an abscess :( She was in a lot of pain and very miserable, and of course, the vet gave us the dreaded cat leukemia talk (I lost two cats two months apart in 2020 to this horrible disease) at our second visit there, and I was just seeing stars as I wanted to pass out from anger and grief. Lord not this again.

But! Miss Conical Cat is on the mend and is hysterical. She provides so much entertainment that I don't think I ever want to take the cone off 🤣🤣 hahaha. No that's terrible, but I will. Her usual airs and graces and snootiness have all gone to shit now that she is horribly directionally challenged. She also now licks her cone obsessively since she can't bathe herself unless she's on a cone break.

Source

Lexi, who is my favorite cat (don't tell the others), definitely was freaked out by the cone and the smell of disinfectant when we were treating the wound while it was still open. She came up to Squeek to say hello, took one whiff of the detol, and swiped poor Squeek on the nose! Like "omg you smell terrible let me smack you." Cats are weird man. She's much nicer to Squeek now that she doesn't stink of "vet" anymore.

Back to Mittens, he definitely has hormones kicking in and our neighborhood bully has had one or two brushes with our tiny vicious tomboy. Usually MewMew (yes I KNOW he's soo floofy and gorgeous and I ALMOST let him in to sleep on my bed when he asked so nicely) has the upper hand in size and personality and he gets away with terrorizing the girls.

Mittens has zero fear, and even though he's half MewMew's size, he sends him packing with relentless annoyance.

We'll probably keep Squeek here in my bedroom in lockdown for another week and then we'll let her go back out into the world where she can sit on walls and judge us like he peasants we are. I can't say I'll miss the litterbox in my bedroom 🤢 but I will miss my live-in butt warmer (she likes to perch herself there when I'm reading - biggest surface area, I guess).

Until next time, love and purrs from me, @zakludick @merenludick @aimeludick @matthew-williams and the furbabies <3