#22kill push up challenge - Day 15

Excuse me for bringing up the van, which was a Chinese medicine transport, by the brand name of Tongji. It's nothing crazy, but somehow the brand name reminds me of my uncle in China, where he stays in Tongji Road. He was a reformer that decided to go "back" to China and help the country back in the 60s. But ofcourse, as every hero of that era, there's just too much of imagination used and bunch of craziness sets in and got every foot step on the wrong mine.

He live a faithful life in the country of the PRC, and I was happy to have visited him once 10 years ago. That was exactly November of 2011. And now he's no longer here, and still left me thinking how much hardship he had to go through to set up his own family there.

I'm feeling exhausting after 15 days of push up. 1 more week left. Physically, I don't really feel that much of a pain anymore. I think I can do more, but I just doesn't seem to feel happy doing it anymore. I know myself very well, if I don't have a camera and a commitment on the blockchain, I will just quit and pretend I haven't started anything.

As I'm getting older, my testosterone level is probably having their steep dive. I tried to sleep in, but I couldn't really get that much of a deep sleep. Especially after a week off from work last week, today I was like half the time in the office my mind is out of my body.

I don't know what to do. I'm not always like this, if you know me I'm more of an entertainer. I am not only entertain others, sometimes I talk to myself and entertain myself. How many idiot would write down a sentence on a piece of paper, and read them backward to make fun? I'm that asshole. But sometimes, like today, things just got so emotional and I don't even feel like wanna make this post. I'm sorry if this post brings you any negativity, but I'd appreciate if you send me a prayer and keep my spirit up.

Amen?