How to Identify a Manipulative Person.

Those whom you decide to have intimate relationships with, have a lot to say about the type of person you turn out to be and of course, there is a need to closely watch the people you allow into your space because sooner or later, you realize that in one way or another, you begin to talk, walk, communicate in a similar manner. If you do not like something from a distance, then, do not allow it come close to you, so you do not become what you detest.

Away from that, straight into the matter at hand. My dear, have you ever seen a manipulative person before? These people are only concerned about how to make things work in their own way, and they will go to just any length to ensure that everyone around them does things in their own way. Being manipulative, does not mean the person has to be rude, loud or noisy to achieve his or her aim, sometimes, manipulative people may look like the most nice person you have ever meet……..
Hold on, let me list out some characteristics of a manipulative person for you; so the next time you meet one, you know what you are up against.

Always trying to make you feel less, manipulators believe that when they take your confidence away, then they will be able to gain control over you. When you have that friend or you are in a relationship where you have to second guess yourself all the time, that could simply describe that your friend/ partner has a manipulative attitude.

Manipulative people also know how to make you feel terrible over an act for lengthy years. For instance, let’s say you offend your manipulative partner and you feel extremely terrible about it, this partner of yours would constantly bring up the topic just to make you feel inferior and subjective to their will over and over again.

Manipulators know how well to exploit a kind person, a manipulative person would never offer any type of help in return as they do things only out of their extreme level of comfort, a kind person is a good target for a manipulative person because they know that regardless of what they do, a person with a kind nature would definitely go out of his or her to get things done.

Manipulators know how well to shift blame on others, they never accept their flaws instead they would change the story in a way that even the person who should be the victim would end up apologizing to them at the end of the day.

When you are with a manipulative person, you begin to second guess what you believe because there are moments when you will ask yourself that, wait ooo, this person appears really good and perfect, am I sure I am not the one who has the problem like this?

When you are in a relationship with a manipulative person, they try to make you see reason why you only need to have them in your life and discard every other person. Before you realize what is going on, your entire life and journey revolves around them and this makes it difficult for you to break free which means their purpose has been achieved after all.

Manipulative people are usually good with words, at the beginning of the relationship, they will do everything possible to make the other party feels special, this will give an idea of an extremely nice person and in the process of that, the victim sees the manipulator as the best thing that can ever happen to them.
Person could develop a manipulative trait if he or she grew up in a home where one of the parent was manipulative, let’s say for instance, the mother was really manipulative and the child watched how the mother was able to get whatever she wanted by manipulating the father, that child would consider it a way of life to constantly manipulate other people to get an head way through life.
Saying No to a manipulative person ehn is like drilling a hole through their heart especially for those of them who have been able to get on with their game all through the years, when they finally find someone who can look them in the face and say No to them, it makes them feel really defeated.

Manipulative people do not think they should allow another person win or rule sometimes, it has to be them who would win on a regular note.
Now, the people who easily become victims of manipulative people are those who constantly need other people to make them feel complete, we could refer to them as co-depend people, now, these people on their own would never feel enough in themselves instead they would have to rely on their partner or their friends to boost their self-worth.
It is a very serious case oo my darlings, but hey, just hold on a little bit, let me guide you through how to handle a manipulative person.

One of the strongest ways to help you conquer manipulative people is to, begin to learn how to love yourself. Self- love would help you put yourself first and help you identify easily when someone is simply trying to use you.

Personally, I am also guilty of being extremely nice and putting other people’s need before my own, but when I started working towards self-love, I realized that there are certain people who would only remember me whenever there was a need for me and if the table were turned, they would never do the same for me so I began to gradually stay away from them as much as I could, also not forgetting to say no to them as regularly as I could.

Self-love would also make you realize when doing something is not convenient for you, so this way you begin to learn how to say No and extreme manipulators would begin to see that they no longer have need for you so they would regularly try to talk you down and make you feel like a terrible person, but for your own sanity, be able to set boundaries. This is what I will tolerate and this is what I would not tolerate, also when you have to do something for someone, it would come from a point of doing it out of your own will and comfort and not because you want to please someone or try to make them feel good.
You need to also realize that when you refusal to do something for someone does not make you a terrible person, there is no need for deep explanation behind your refusal to do something, it is alright to refuse to do something when you don’t just feel like it. Now, a manipulative person would come up with statements like, why would I have you and I will be lacking these things, trying to make you feel like a terrible person for saying No to them but hey Darling, let your No remain No.

Stop trying to fit in all the time. Trying to blend in is the reason why we still have several manipulators today, they realize the weakness in people and prey on it.
Have a reason behind your existence. It is easy for someone to manipulate you when they understand that you have no purpose at all, it becomes convenient for them to use you to their own advantage and since they may be sweet with words sometimes, you may see nothing wrong in the entire situation.
Recognize that you are the one giving manipulative people the permission to use you, no one would be able to use you if you do not grant them the access and authority over your lie
Recognize the sign, you do not have to shout or argue with them but simply remain firm with your decisions and make sure that you beat them to their own game and protect yourself.

One of my very special subscriber shared her story with me on how she was in a relationship with a manipulative guy. The guy made sure he was in control of everything, he decided everything she wore, he made her stop doing things she loved naturally, like waist bead, lashes etc, he would instruct her not to fix long nails, they must be extremely short. To make matters worse, she later realized that he was cheating on her with a lady who was a complete fashionista, this lady was a perfect description of everything he made her stop doing.
He constantly abused her emotionally making her feel she would never be enough for anyone, she even became completely depressed and when she was bold enough to walk out, she realized that he constantly manipulated her that way, so that she would always accept whatever he does to her and never have the confidence to leave.