How To Be Interesting 🕵️ 27 tips for becoming a remarkable person by @jeroseland on 3Speak
"Being remarkable is a tremendous asset -- whether you want to impress a date, get a promotion at work, gain new friends instantly and effortlessly, or develop greater self-confidence. It may seem ...
Tags: #podcast #socialdynamics #networking
How to Be Interesting, 27 Tips for Becoming a Remarkable Person. Hey, this is Jonathan Roseland with Limitless Mindset. And this podcast is a deep dive, MP3 encoded version of an article that I did. This is maybe a little bit of a diversification from the biohacking stuff that I'm usually talking about here. This is an old school article that I did a while back. I updated it recently because as I'm growing older, I'm becoming persnickety about grammar and realizing to my embarrassment that my grammar, my writing in my younger, more reckless years, It just doesn't quite measure up to what I want to be broadcasting and putting out there on the internet. So I went through improved, perfected, I dare say, the grammar here, and updated the article in a couple of other ways. So hopefully you appreciate my commitment to putting out quality stuff. Do you want instant satisfaction? in your endeavor to be a fascinating individual, well, listen on. This podcast will try to focus on, fake it till you make it type of aesthetic things you can do with a minimum investment to make you a better conversationalist, and the sort of person people cannot resist, be irresistable. remarkable is a tremendous asset. Whether you want to impress a date, get a promotion at work, gain new friends instantly and effortlessly, or develop greater self-confidence. It may seem like interesting individuals are born, not made, but this is not the case. Anyone willing to put forth the effort can become captivating. And a note in this podcast, I will refer to the nebulous, perceived quality of being interesting as a person's interest quotient. That's a two-word phrase I came up with. I think it's pretty good. Okay, first of all, first tip of the 27 tips is conversation topics to avoid. Extraordinary individuals avoid the average and mediocre subjects that most people drone on and on about. So try to avoid spending too much time on these topics work. Like most people on this planet, you probably have a job. You have a... labor that occupies most of your time and mental energy. So if you can not spend, unless you do something terribly interesting, and I sure hope that you do, if you can keep your conversation on this topic brief, or if you can maybe kind of play the thing where you avoid talking about what your work, where you say, I do a... I do something, I travel a lot, but it's not very interesting. Let's talk about something else. Then people's curiosity is peaked. Okay, you're dead. You're probably in debt. Sucks, doesn't it? Unless there's something I can do to help, can we please avoid this topic? Your weight. If you're overweight, that's too bad. Maybe you should try fasting. you probably should have eaten better or been more disciplined about staying active. Again, unless there's something I can do to help, can we please avoid this topic? Your kids. If you have kids. You love your kids, so, of course, you like to talk about them, but unless we are discussing parenting specifically, it's a pretty bland subject, especially to younger, single people. And I wrote this article when I was a younger single person. myself and people talking about their kids is just endlessly disinteresting to me. Your cell phone, I bet you have a cool cell phone. I bet it can surf the internet. I bet it can download apps. I also bet your cell phone is going to be obsolete and outmoded in 12 months, just like mine. Celebrity gossip. If you are speaking to someone... remotely intelligent, please avoid this subject. Popular sports. Unless your audience is hardcore sports aficionados, don't spend too much time on this topic. Virtually, almost any American male is an expert or thinks he is on the game of football, so spending 20 minutes repeating facts you heard on... Sports Center only makes you sound so very average. Politics. Poor people need health care, too. Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Unless you have a particularly intelligent or unique point of view, which you can back up with historical facts, please keep it to yourself. And, finally, popular TV shows. It... basically just communicates that you live vicariously through the fictional lives of on-screen characters every evening. Not very interesting. I'll give you some better conversation topics. Being an interesting conversationalist is not quite as simple as making a list of topics, even though I'll do it anyways here. It really revolves around holding the interest of your audience while at the same time providing value by making fluent conversation on a topic that is relevant to your audience or your environment. Please remember, though, that small minds talk about people, moderate minds talk about events, and great minds talk about ideas. That was Eleanor Roosevelt saying that I always liked. So if your conversation is stuck in small talk, practice topic depth escalation to speaking about something more significant. For more on this, check out my other blog, which was 14 methods and mindset tricks to make you a more interesting conversationalist. And here are some conversation topics that I've found increase your interest quotient, to use that phrase. History. The events, personalities, and ideologies that have resulted in our present culture. Transhumanism. Transhumanism is the technological, societal, ideological move to mental and physical human immortality. Capitalism. I always enjoy debating how capitalism is the least evil way for the world to work. Entrepreneurship. The people who risk everything to change the world and make money doing it will always be interesting. Marketing. Marketing is a huge part of all our lives, yet few people understand how it works. Psychology. an introspective look at our own lives and how we respond to things emotionally, biases, these things are always interesting. Conspiracy theories, one of my favorite. People have and will always be fascinated by conspiracy theories or alternative histories, stories. From cradle to grave, we all love a great story. I suggest having 10 to 15 interesting stories. They don't necessarily have to be yours that you can share. And finally, sex, something people are always interested in talking about, and there's always some weird sex thing. There's, you know, catch up on the sex experts podcasts that are out there, and they'll give you lots of conversation fodder. Next. Tip, have a signature something. Your signature something is basically anything you say or do consistently that makes you unique. And perhaps this one is actually the main takeaway that I'd suggest from this podcast. Have a signature something. Again, is basically something you say or do consistently that makes you... unique. The memorable protagonists in movies always have a signature something, like Indiana Jones and his hat, or James Bond and his shaken martinis. If you don't mind, a bit of blatant self-promotion, here are several signature somethings of mine. Feel free to... steal them. My signature cocktail toast. If you follow me on social media or drink with me, you've probably heard this one. Here's to living famously, drinking dangerously, lying audaciously, and to the friends who forgive us for doing so. And that's my signature cocktail toast. It's pretty good. I came up with it all by myself. My signature excuse is, it happens to the worst of us. And this is a play on words for the phrase, it happens to the best of us. For example, my friend might be saying, I met this really gorgeous girl, and I was having a great conversation with her, then I forgot her name. And I'd say, oh, well, it happens to the worst of us. My signature clothing style. in white that men don't usually wear in white. I've owned a white suit jacket, well, actually several now, as I always seem to spill drinks on them, a white leather belt, a watch that is white, or I actually had two watches that were white. One had this really sharp white leather band. That was a conspicuous... item, and I have often owned white leather dress shoes, which people always, at a party, you'll inevitably have a woman come up to you and say, white dress, white leather dress shoes, that's bold, dude. My signature introduction, when meeting women, at least in the past, before I was married, I would shake hands, then I would double cup my other palm over her, so this would be my left hand, then I'd lift her other hand while my shaking hand, and then I would kiss the back of her hand while staring in her eyes. Kind of a suave cinematic, maybe kind of like a Latino, European kind of move. And moving forward, my signature drinks, I would drink some... kind of special things. I drink Patron Red Bull, yes, Manhattan whiskey martinis, or 1554 Belgian ale. 1554 was this fantastic, amazing beer that was brewed in Boulder, Colorado, and I can't seem to find it. very many places in the world, so I've had to let that one go. But Patron Red Bull, you can get that almost anywhere, and then any decent bar will make you a Manhattan, and you'll drink that, and you'll feel like a real man. I do let people know what I'm drinking, because everyone has tastes when it comes to what they like to drink, and it makes for great conversation. My signature dance move. I use a dance move called a double crossover, and here's how to pull it off. While holding each other's hands, I lift her hand up behind my head, so her hand sits on my right shoulder. She does the same, then we release our hands while behind our heads and slide our opposite hands to each other. If the girl is a little clumsy, the first time I tease her for not being... sober enough to pull off my move, then we try it again, and she usually nails it. And this is a fun little move that takes just a few seconds to learn, and it looks great. You can do it too, do it dancing to jazz, salsa, hip hop, or even rock. And if that description is hard to understand, I suggest just going on YouTube and looking up the double crossover swing dancing. move, and they'll show you how to do it. My signature movie line, I steal this from Russell Crow in Gladiator. Are you not entertained? Is this not what you came here to see? I usually say this after something funny or entertaining has happened. This goes over particularly well if I'm dealing with the... artsy, entertainer or performer types. And my signature vice that I indulge very infrequently nowadays is a Dominican cigar. The kind I like costs about $7 and will last all night. Make sure to bring a little a zip -locked baggy so you can put the cigar in your pocket while you step inside, because typically if you're out smoking, you're not going to want to smoke an entire cigar in one sitting. Cigarettes look bad, smell bad, taste horrific, are terrible for you, and end up being a pricey habit. If you are going to smoke socially, go with a... Cigar. Unless you are a pretty hardcore nicotine addict, a tasty cigar will give you that buzz, as well as satisfy that Freudian desire to suck on an object while socializing, if that's even a thing. One item I don't have is a signature dish or recipe, because I am a force of destruction. in the kitchen. But if you are a decent cook, figure out a signature dish or meal that you can perfect and make your own. Next tip for being interesting is to be a rebel. Well, sort of. Humorously position yourself as a rebel against some form of authority. A few examples. I had to go to traffic court today to stand trial for my crimes against humanity, or I had to battle against the tyrannical customer service policies of my cable company, or to the parking ticket Nazis, I am Winston Churchill and will have my V-Day. Next tip. Have a scripted sequence you use with a wingman, or... Wing Woman. Nobody is interested in the guy singing his own praises, but watch how entranced they become when someone else talks about you. I had a friend with who I would go to social events, and after introducing ourselves, he would always mention, just briefly, just dangle it out there, that I was an... interesting entrepreneur. This, of course, opened up the opportunity for me to chat about myself without seeming self -absorbed. Make sure you return the favor. Next, watch old movies. Actors in old movies had some great mannerisms and sayings that have been lost in the modern. age. I particularly like old James Bond movies. The way the young Sean Connery moves and talks is just electric. Watch an old movie and pick out a line or little move to use. Next, use interesting phrases. Have a portfolio of clever or interesting phrases and Here are a few I like. Again, feel free to steal them. Capricious Antics. This is a line I heard from the diary of a 1920s Antarctic Explorer and capricious antics. That means acting crazy just for fun. So that's appropriate in a lot of situations, least evil. This means when something is not great, but better than an alternative. For example, smoking cigars is the least evil way for me to die of lung cancer when I'm 85, but I'm going to be a biohacker, so that's not going to happen. Next, boldly go. I'm a big sci-fi geek, so I like to use Captain Kirk's great lines from time to time. For example, let's... boldly go to the next bar. Persnickety, I use that phrase at the onset of this podcast, and it means placing too much emphasis on trivial or minor details, like being fussy, perpetual. This means ongoing or continual. For example, your friend Chris is perpetually sober. What a crime. And... Information Equity. This is a marketing information theory buzz phrase. Start using it. And you can find huge lists of more on the internet. Also, get a word of the day email or calendar to educate yourself a little daily. Next tip for being interesting is to dress distinctively well. The matter of the fact is that we make a lot of judgments by the way someone dresses. People who dress very well will always seem significantly more important than those who throw on a t-shirt jeans and tennis shoes. Even if you are short, ugly, a poor communicator, and broke, being immaculately dressed will improve people's impressions of you by... 2 to 300%. If you want to take this to the next level, don't just dress sharp. Add something distinctive and maybe even a little daring, like cufflinks, a suit vest, a huge watch, or a fedora. Dressing better will absolutely improve your own level of confidence as... Well, Bill Zanker, the founder of the international organization, The Learning Annex, which does 100 million plus in sales. In a book he co-authored, with the most evil man in the universe, Donald Trump, talks about how when his students hit certain goals, he requires that they go out and buy. $5,000 suits, and then wear the suits in business settings, just because their level of confidence while wearing a $5,000 suit allows them to take their business to the next level, and they must have already attained quite a bit of success if they're dropping $5 ,000 on suits, that seems a bit. excessive. And please don't think that I'm suggesting you should max out your credit cards and raid your savings and cryptocurrency accounts to buy a $5,000 suit. There are a lot more affordable ways to dress sharp. I highly recommend Express for men where you can buy a great-looking suit for about $300. I'm going to run the risk of sounding like ad copy and... Esquire here, but fine clothes are a good investment, and I've gotten my best ROI from Express for Men. Obviously, clothing doesn't appreciate monetarily, but people really do make assumptions about you from the way you dress, and you might as well use that to your advantage. If even $300 is too steep for you, I might suggest that you hit the fashion boutiques online at eBay, Amazon, or Ali Express. And at this stuff, you can get shockingly cheap clothing that actually looks pretty good. Or at least it will for probably about six months. And it will have an effect on your confidence in the way... People perceive you. You know, clothing is kind of like a fine wine. They've done a bunch of studies where they demonstrated that people can't really tell the difference between cheap wine packaged well and really expensive wine in similar packaging. And clothing is kind of similar. Next, go tanning. Yeah, this one is pretty shallow. Tan people will always look just a little better, which will improve your confidence. You can spend your relaxing time in the tanning booth, educating yourself, listening to a podcast or an audiobook about a subject. People assume, if you're tan, that you either have some interesting ancestry or that you spend time outside, as opposed to being in front of a... computer or television screen all the time or trapped in a cubicle. Just don't let the cute tanning salon girls upsell you to their expensive lotions. And I actually conducted a life hacker trial on this. Back in the day when I used to go to tanning salons, I purchased from them their expensive tanning salon. lotion, and then I also had cheapo tanning salon lotion, and probably neither of those tanning salon lotions are very good for you, but I didn't know that at the time. So I put the expensive stuff on one of my legs, and then I put the cheap stuff on my other leg to see if I actually got a better sun tan from the expensive stuff, and I didn't. Shocking, right? Okay, next point. Have a distinctive business card. Don't you get bored of white business cards with black text and small blue logos? If you want to make a unique first impression, get a professional graphic designer to make you a cool business card, or splurge a little on some cool plastic or transparent business. cards. If you've never seen these, go and Google them. There are print companies that will make these cool plastic or semi-translucent business cards. And they make a real impression. I'll never forget the nightclub owner I used to know who gave me a tin metal business card with the logo. stamped out. I think he told me that those things cost $3 a piece, which is unaffordable for most professions, but I kept that card in my wallet for years, and I showed it to everyone, so it was possibly a good investment for that nightclub promoter. He was an interesting guy in... a lot of ways, and his business cars were just the cherry on top. Next point. Drive an interesting car. If you're like most people, your life requires a car. Well, my life doesn't require a car now, which is very nice, but if you can afford it, why not drive an interesting car? People with interesting cars are not only... instantaneously more interesting to the general public, but you establish immediate rapport and friendship with anyone else who has unique automotive tastes. My personal recommendation is older luxury cars. Once upon a time, I bought a gorgeous, used Lexus Coop for about $7,000. It was incredibly stylish, it was fast, and had all the luxury features I could want. Did, I mention that it was also very fuel efficient, and the maintenance costs were next to nothing on it? Next time you're at a dealership looking at a... I don't know, a newer Camry focus or Ford Explorer, consider what you can buy for about the same amount of money that has a lot more personality and style. Again, like older Japanese luxury cars, they've got some style to them. They've got all the nice features. They have really nice rides to them. They don't cost that much money, and your maintenance costs are going to be quite low. So think about that. Next, collect something. Interesting people own interesting things. If you can't afford a Siberian tiger yet, don't worry. You can start small, like collecting some rare coins, stamps, or art, or buy a fish tank and put some cool fish in it. That'll make you stand out. Okay, next point. enthusiastic loyalty to the absent. I have a lot of interesting, talented, funny, smart, idiosyncratic friends, and I make sure to talk about them to each other. Each time I talk about myself, I try to make it a point to talk about someone else. My comments are always positive and focus on…