So, I actually prepped this post yesterday and everything written below too. It was a hard day, and at the end of it... I genuinely didn't even feel like publishing it because I was just feeling completely depleted... but... as with all things in life, it passed. Today was a much better day thankfully and probably just because I didn't put myself "under the gun" as much! Anyhooo, I hope you all had a super Hump Day! Lockdown Day 26...
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ― Maya Angelou
Today was probably one of the hardest I have had during this lockdown! The sanity is running low and the emotions very high! I am trying so hard to remain calm and collected in front of my little boy - especially during the "online schooling hours" - attempting to streamline the workflow as best I can and to create some kind of comfortable routine... but fnck me... I may be an organised and motivated individual, but I was not born to be a teacher lol!
After we got through the scheduled tasks for the day, there was not much left... of the day itself, but I decided to try and find a way out of the hole of anxiety I had thrown myself into, by drawing... or doodling, or whatever the heck you care to call it - so that I can put the love I have in my heart in front of the stresses I am feeling at the moment.
Courage Is Not Absent Of Fear. Courage Is Your Willingness To Push Through Fear In Spite Of Feeling It. Be Brave Because You Can.”― Wesam Fawzi
Heard a song by Pink earlier... one of the many of hers that I truly love and considering the apt appropriateness of the lyrics at the time of drawing this, I really just wanted to burst into tears... perhaps I should - release and all!
In many respects I am feeling so annoyed with myself because I generally love a challenge and home schooling is something that I am pretty positive to tackle, but in moments I really feel like I am failing hopelessly... but then the teachers commend my son and his progress and I just sit here like a confused fool lol
Sometimes, you just need to take a really deep breath!
I suppose this doodle is just me, trying to find my "happy place" among all this chaos and uncertainty. Expressing my yearning for a normality that I think we all took for granted most of the time... and a little slither of freedom would be nice too!
“In a world muddled with madness, I made a conscious effort to stay sane.” ― Angela Colleen Prendergast
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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