Not Spaghetti Carbonara - You Suck at Cooking

I set out to really not make carbonara but I ended up accidentally mostly making carbonara. Everyone makes mistakes.
It's late and I'm tired so remind me and I'll write out the recipe complete with very approximate amounts of things that go in it

Okay thanks for the reminders:

Recipe:

A few pieces of bacon chopped up into pieces that are smaller than the whole strip
Cook the bacon in your pan on medium until it's getting close to crispy but not quiet
Take some egg yolks...for two people maybe three? Or one whole egg if you're feeling risky?
Grate pecorino (or parmesan if you like) into the yolks and beat until you get Cadbury cream egg filling. Or go buck wild until you have putty
Cook 156 pieces of spaghetti until it's el dente inside a bucket of salted water
Or you can put your finger and index together and use that much spaghetti for two people, if your'e using my hand to measure
Take your bacon off the heat until it's not sizzling and a bit longer.
Add a bit of pasta water to the egg and cheese mixture until it's a nice smooth sauce
Take your spaghetti straight from the bucket into the bacon pan and Wangjangle
Add in the sauce and keep Wangjangling, then add some spaghetti water with your pan on low and continue Wangjangling until it's creamy but thickens
Hide somewhere and break one piece of spaghetti in half to feel like a badass
Once the sauce is how you like it, eat it immediately. It's not really a dish to store and eat later so start eating and don't stop until it's done.