Too Holy for School? French Secularism Bans Pupils from Saintly Musical!

In an ironic twist of divine comedy, French secularism has given a thumbs-down to the musical "Bernadette de Lourdes" as part of the educational field trip repertoire, asserting that a sing-along with a saint just doesn’t harmonize with laïcité. This historical musical, which probes the celestial visions of a teenage Bernadette without a single cameo from the Virgin Mary, was deemed too heavenly for the staunchly earthbound principles of French state education. Co-producer Roberto Ciurleo, perplexed by the decision, points out, "Our show is a historical reconstruction in the form of a police investigation, drawn from the official records," suggesting that the only spirit the students might encounter is the spirit of inquiry. Meanwhile, the commission, unmoved by the production's secular serenade, has decided that school groups shall not pass, though individual students are free to float towards the holy box office on their own dime—or divine intervention. Thus, in the land that champions égalité, fraternité, and above all, laïcité, a musical about a saint is less Les Misérables and more "Les Misunderstood."

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